


Bitter

by MediocreMemory



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MediocreMemory/pseuds/MediocreMemory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small piece taking place between Act 1 and Act 2, Aggressive Female Hawke and Fenris. Possible trigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter

Hawke stood above the man, staring down at him with unyielding hatred. He whined like a small child as he tried to back away from her- failing miserably.

"Please… messere! I'm just trying to get by! I wouldn't have done it if not for the money. Please- I need to feed my family!" His voice made her blood curdle and she stepped closer, placing her bow on her back but keeping her small dagger in hand. She bend down over him on one knee and stuck the blade into his pants, between his legs. She glared at him with cold eyes.

"Bullshit." Her tone conveyed her feelings for the man- hiding nothing. "Tell me where they are… now!"

"Hawke…" Varric spoke, trying to soothe her wrath but she did not hear him. Fenris stood beside the dwarf, watching with more curiosity than concern. His feelings toward the man were clear and he trusted Hawke to deal the proper justice- she had never failed him in this before. He felt a small breeze brush past him as Aveline stormed up to Hawke from behind him.

"Hawke! This is not right! Turn him over to the guards, I will deal with him!" She shouted at her.

"Stay out of this!" Hawke turned sharply, scowling at Aveline for a moment before concentrating back on her target. "Answer my question or I will give you a death so painful, you'll swear you were already in hell." There was no joke in her words and he knew it.

"T-they're in Darktown! There's a sewer tunnel that leads out of the city, that's where they are! Please… let me go…" The smell of piss filled the air and Hawke wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"You have your answer- now let him go." Aveline spoke again, but Hawke ignored her. She pulled the dagger from the man's pants but instead of sheathing it, she sunk it deep into his chest- the blade no longer visible as it pierced his heart. He looked up at her with pained eyes before they rolled back and he went limp, falling backward.

She stood- wiping the blade off on her pants before holstering it at her waist. She took a step to start toward the new-found destination but Aveline's anger turned her around. "Why?! He was as much a victim in this!"

She rushed to Aveline- standing so close that the wind couldn't pass between them. "Oh?! He's innocent? He aided in kidnapping children! Maker knows what has happened to them already- or what has yet to happen to them and you defend him?!"

"You should have given him to the guards!"

Hawke laughed bitterly, "You mean give him to your men… who fail spectacularly at every turn? When have they ever proven useful? They're just puppets of the Viscount- just as you are! Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that man deserved to live after what he helped with?" Aveline had no answer and hated Hawke for it. She looked to the ground- knowing that if she looked back up to Hawke she would do something she would come to regret. "That's what I thought."

Hawke never looked back at the Guard Captain as the four of them marched towards Darktown in dead silence. When at last they reached the passageway the man had mentioned, Hawke slid down the flimsy ladder and into the dank tunnel. The darkness of the place wrapped around them and the dim light streaming through the gratings above offered only a small amount of illumination to direct them forward.

Varric walked behind Hawke and Fenris as they took lead through the cramped corridor with Aveline at his back. The lack of conversation was grating on him but he knew better than to break it. He understood Hawke's anger- she had always fought for the things that truly mattered to her- but he did not agree with her methods. He would speak with her after they had finished here, if given the opportunity.

He found it was like talking to a blank wall when he tried to voice his concerns to her; she never listened and when she was in a mood like this, it was even harder. She had a lust for blood that was obvious but he usually gave her the benefit of the doubt- she rarely lashed out on innocents. He figured what would come after all this and he was not looking forward to it any more than whatever they were about to step into. Once the matter was taken care of, she would brood in the Hanged Man- possibly even start a fight with the patrons. He'd have to apologize to Norah for the mess, help her clean it, and hope there were no bodies to explain away to anyone. Still, he found her wrath respectable in situations like this, much to his shame.

Hawke walked with determination as she followed a thin voice forward through turns and breaks in the pathways. Eventually she was led to a fairly large area where an open vent above them bathed the area in blinding light. She looked to the ground with wide eyes where a small elven girl was laying- bloodied and bruised. She rushed to the girl's side and lifted her to a sitting position with a delicate touch. She was barely conscious but she smiled at Hawke. "Are you here to save me?"

She could only nod at the girl, forcing a smile. "What's your name, child?"

"Isilwen." The girl's voice echoed off the walls- her heavy breaths following.

"Such a pretty name for a pretty girl." She adjusted the girl in her lap, making sure she was comfortable. "Can you tell me where the person is that hurt you?" She soothed the blonde hair back from the girl's face, revealing her pale eyes better. There was no pain in them and Hawke couldn't explain why it stung her heart more.

Isilwen nodded, "He was a bad man… he took the others back there." She looked toward one of the passages and back at Hawke. "Is he going to hurt them, too?"

She shook her head. "No, they will be fine."

"Promise?"

Hawke remembered her promises… the one she broke to her mother, the one she kept to Bethany in the Deep Roads, the one she kept to herself. 'This one will not be broken.' Hawke thought to herself. "I promise."

They heard a noise- mostly likely a rat- but it scared the girl and she let out a small cry. "He's coming back!" Isilwen grabbed onto Hawke tightly and Hawke soothed her back. "Shh, no one's going to hurt you anymore."

Fenris stood behind Hawke, the scene touched his heart painfully and he found it difficult to look at them. He watched Aveline as she turned about the room- clearly more concerned about the possibility of an ambush and distracting herself from the current situation. Varric seemed as if he were holding back tears to Fenris' surprise and found himself afraid of being taken by the same feeling. He forced himself to look back at the elf girl and took notice of her multiple wounds.

"Hawke…" He pulled her attention to a large gash across her abdomen where blood still seeped out regardless of how fresh or old it was.

Hawke's voice choked, but the words came out sweet. "You're safe now… rest your eyes." She cradled the girl in her lap, afraid to tell her the truth of it.

Isilwen began to smile at Hawke again as she found sleep- her pulse leaving soon afterward. Hawke laid the girl back on the ground and stood; her anger was the only thing holding her own tears back as she looked to see Varric let one slip. She took her bow from her back and gripped it firmly before moving toward one of the passageways where a faint voice could still be heard. "Let's go."

==========

The four of them continued on until the voice grew louder. Hawke put a hand up and the others stopped. She faded into the shadows against the wall and inched forward, out of her Fenris' sight. He squinted- trying to examine the area ahead of them- to no avail. He waited silently with the others, trying to make no movements that could create noise.

Hawke slid through the shadows effortlessly and neared a man standing over three children. When he spoke, the voice started to sound familiar. She moved closer silently, listening to the man.

"Such beautiful faces… I don't know which one to start with!" He took the chin of a young boy in his hand and turned his head left and right- examining every part. "You are scared, I see. Don't be. You are pleasing the demon. You know what happens when you don't please it… it gets angry and attacks like it did to your little friend back there."

'That voice… where have I heard it?' Hawke thought. The man was clearly a mage from what Hawke could gather. The elven children were lined up in front of him on their knees- like cattle in her eyes- and she fought the urge to rush on him now. She held fast as she reached the edge of the shadows; the perfect moment would be up shortly and she itched at the thought of beheading this man.

"Now, let's see… who would like to volunteer?" He didn't wait very long before continuing. "So no one wishes to go first? I suppose I'll have to choose myself." He turned slightly as he neared the third child- a young girl- perhaps the same age as Isilwen was. As his hood revealed part of his face, Hawke's eyes went wide… Kelder.

Her voice betrayed her and she screamed in rage.

Her mind was a swirl of emotions and she couldn't steady her thoughts on just one. She reached for her bow and loosed an arrow at his head only to have it bounce off an unseen barrier around him. He turned to face her and as she stepped out of the shadows, readying another arrow- he smiled at her. Kelder flung the little girl against the wall across the room as she let out a small gasp. Hawke plucked her arrow and this time it landed in his shoulder- though it did not seem to stop him. He appeared to punch the air as ice flung from his fist and hit Hawke, freezing her in place. The cold prison she was trapped in seemed to chill her to the bone and try as she might, she could not move.

Fenris heard her scream and panic set in. He rushed forward into the room with the same surprise as Hawke when he saw who the attacker was. Pain coursed through him as his marking illuminated the room and he slung his weight forward into Kelder. The mage flew to his side on the ground but quickly lifted himself back up and went straight for Hawke once more.

Varric and Aveline came in quickly behind Fenris; the dwarf rushing toward the children and Aveline pressing in on Kelder. Hawke felt her body thaw quickly and as the ice faded from around her, she saw Fenris blocking the mage into a corner and took a shot. The arrow landed in his throat- pulling a chunk of lacy red with it as it exited the other side. Kelder choked on blood that poured from his nose and mouth and Fenris stood in place as the mage fell against him, sliding to the floor. The moment he was sure the mage was dead, Fenris turned to Hawke in anger.

Varric was calming the children down while Aveline looked over the girl Kelder had thrown against the wall. Hawke noticed Fenris marching toward her and turned her eyes to the ground- afraid to look at him. She remember the incident three years ago… she had taken Kelder back to the magistrate. She had regretted it then but now the guilt was tormenting her to the point she felt she would break. Fenris wanted to scream but he kept silent- the three children still in their presence and with enough trauma for a lifetime already.

When they were safely back at the Alienage and reunited with their parents, Hawke slunk away toward her estate before any of her companions could scold her for what had occurred. Aveline had found herself back in the barracks, filing paperwork about the incident. She wished she had gone with Hawke and her first instinct back then, but soothed herself with thoughts. 'There was no way we could have known… The guard didn't fail us, the courts didn't either. It was meant to happen this way.' Even she had to shake her head at how ridiculous it sounded.

Varric found himself at the Hanged Man but the usual merriment that flowed through him as the people downstairs began their dancing and drinking was not there. He pounded back three pints and none of them shook the mood. Resigning from his struggle, he started on his next story- scrolling quickly across scratchy parchment with his quill.

Fenris did not return to his mansion and found himself pacing through the streets of Hightown until night set in and the lanterns were lit. Something inside of him burned and he found himself stopped in front of Hawke's door as the last stragglers found their homes. As if disembodied, he watched himself knock on her door and before waiting for Bodahn to answer- he barged in. He found Hawke in her room upstairs; a half empty bottle of wine in hand as she slumped over the side of the bed. She looked up at him upon hearing the clink of his armor as he stepped through the door. She normally would have smiled at the sight of him but it only made her heart feel that much heavier. She knew what he was going to say and she welcomed the abuse.

"Go ahead… say it." She drank from the bottle, tilting her head back and draining more than half of the remaining contents down her throat.

He shook his head. "You're pathetic…"

"Oh? And tell me your reasons for stating the obvious…"

"You sit here, getting drunk alone and soaking in sorrow for something that was your fault!"

She said nothing but stared at her feet, grasping the bottle like a lifeline. He stepped closer and she stood, facing him.

"That's it? You have nothing to say?!"

"What do you want me to say? I know damn well that what happened was my own doing. I can't change what's been done and so I will drink it away and leave it where it is."

"Damnit, Hawke! You have to deal with the consequences of what you do! How many more people have to die for you to realize that?"

She scowled at him- her outrage taking control- and slapped him across the face, leaving a streak of red across his cheek. He stared at her, and though calm was written across his face, his markings lit and she felt a gauntleted hand grasp her throat. Her feet lifted off the ground and he stared up at her, never breaking the calm murderous gaze. She struggled to pull his hand away and looked down at him- her fear now pressing her to try and speak but it only granted her less air.

Hawke saw the room spinning as she started to weaken before she dropped her hands to her sides- ready to give in and face the punishment. Fenris felt her throat in his grasp and a rush of excitement took over him until he heard a small gasp of air and snapped back from whatever compelled him. He let go immediately- Hawke hitting the ground hard and laying in a lump gasping to catch her breath.

"Hawke… I…" He spoke, words trembling. He bent down beside her- unsure what to do. She stared to the side, avoiding his gaze despite the anguish now on it. Fenris reached out to put a hand on her back but pulled back before it could make contact.

When at last she caught her breath, Hawke shook her head and spoke in a raspy voice. "I deserved it… don't apologize for that."

Fenris sighed, "That is not what I meant and you know it."

Hawke managed to chuckle lightly, "How else am I suppose to repay all the lives that have been lost due to my mistakes? I can't simply give back the lives of all the children that man took- I wish I could, but I can't. I'm no mage, I can't even pretend to have that power."

"And I am thankful that you are no mage." She sat up at his words, leaning against the side of the bed and looking at him clearly. The look on his face was one she had not seen in years- since they failed to find Danarius when she first met him. "If you were a mage, the respect you command would vanish in my eyes."

She smirked, "It doesn't seem like I have or deserve your respect now."

"I assure you, it is quite the opposite. I may not agree with what was allowed to happen today but in the past three years you have done enough to earn it." He stood and offered his hand to her- helping her up. "I… please forgive me. What I did… it was uncalled for."

Hawke looked to the ground, "Like I said, no need. I'm sure I would have done the same… well, done the same manner of action." She chuckled lightly. "It's understandable. I shouldn't have hit you." An oddly comfortable silence fell over them and picked up the bottle back up from where it had fallen from her hand. The contents stained the carpet and the bottle was empty now. She muttered under her breath and tossed the bottle into the fire before leaning against the mantle and hiding her face with her hands.

Fenris went to her side and she spoke softly to him. "All this misery… is there anything worth saving in this world? What am I trying to fix it for?"

He stared down into the fire at the burning amber glass. "You may not see it at the moment, but the good you have done has made an impact. I can only imagine what this town would be suffering from had you not done anything."

She chuckled, "To think… I started all this just to get my mother in her rightful home. I rarely see her these days. All other motivations, I convinced myself, were for coin to spend drinking the rest of my days away."

"I suppose you have more heart than you give yourself credit for." She looked up at him with glassy eyes and he gave her a small smile which she returned. Fenris turned to leave and as he reached the door, she stopped him.

"Fenris… thank you."

"For what?"

He met her gaze, "For staying at my side. I know it's not an opportune situation for you… but I appreciate it."

He hid a smile, "I would have it no other way."


End file.
